Off Season

There is no off season for death, like clothing that you put away for the winter. So as I clean and pack my winter boots and get out my hiking boots this summer, I reflect on how I prepared for a transition of my loved ones.

Awareness

Am I clear on the promises that I have made to myself and not muddling them up with others expectations. Is my body ready for a vigil, the physical part of transfers and lifting. Are you able to manage your household and theirs? To desks to separate the tasks, to kitchens to stock and clean. Am I ready financially, to take away time from earning money to be a caregiver?

Good Communication

This is the emotional part, are you communicating your feelings? It’s purpose and meaning of the role that you played in your life. A greeting card once a month or once a week if they live far away. A virtual frame of memories that rotate. A calendar of memories based upon a calendar year, can help with orientation. A picture phone so they know who they are calling without having to remember any numbers.

Transparency

Preplanning prevents panic and anxiety. Label your keys, files, and color code and personal safes. Take the time to organize your financial life. Separate your assets from you liabilities with a color file folder system. Write down where and who will be in charge. A last will and testament is part of the process, however think about who is going to manage the mail, the phone, the bills.

It’s okay to hire help, during these times of distress. A Death Doula can be directed in multiple organizational directions giving you the freedom of time to process the aspects that need your personal intervention.